The Difficult Path: Red Cloud was alone on the slope of a mountain surrounded by miles of towering pines. The mountains were in the middle of a prairie so vast that a man could ride for a many days in any direction and still not leave the unending grass. Mountains where thunder could be so loud that it seemed to shake earth and sky, and a man could see in the middle of the darkest night by the flashes of lightning that seemed to have no end. Here, too, a man could be knocked unconscious by the ice that fell from the clouds. It came in balls that were sometimes as large as a man's fist and often it came down until it lay as deep as a man's ankle upon the ground. These were mountains where it was said that the spirits lived. It was said that the spirits could be heard breathing or even wailing in the middle of the night. Here too, there were ferocious cats as long as a horse and half as tall as a man and bears that were taller than a man could reach. These mountains that appeared black from a distance, because of the many pine trees upon their slopes, were visited often by the people of the prairie. They came to get wood for their fires, poles for their tepees and to seek protection from the prairie winds. But only the very bravest of them ever ventured very far into the vast interior, for that was the place of the spirits. And yet Red Cloud was here alone, and he was but a boy. Would those spirits guide him to the food that he must find or would they tear him apart for venturing onto their sacred grounds?   Red Cloud had left his mother and brothers before the morning star had retreated under the sun's early glow. Now as he sat beside a deer trail waiting for the deer that he hoped would come and bring his family food, he thought about the day before. On that day his father had decided to take a short cut through the Black Mountains rather than to walk far to the south on their journey back to their village. Soon after entering the mountains a small enemy war party was spotted following their trail. His father had left Red Cloud, his mother and his two younger brothers so he could lead the enemy warriors in a different direction. Red Cloud was told to stay on the trail as best he could and to keep moving east until darkness over took them. He was told to make camp in a well hidden area and that his father would return and find them as soon as he could. Red Cloud remembered how his small family had followed the trail as best and as quickly as they were able for almost the entire day. Then the trail seemed to fade away into the grass and timber. As they searched for any sign of a trail that could be followed, the air began to feel damp and the wind began to blow from the north. Soon enormous black clouds came rolling over the tops of the trees and the wind blew even harder. The pines moaned under the strain and bowed to the power of the strong north wind. "We must find shelter," his mother yelled. "Grab your brother's hand and follow me." Just then a flash of lighting struck a tree in front of his mother. Red Cloud and his brother, Runs Fast, were knocked to the ground as a tremendous clash of thunder rattled the earth. When they got up Red Cloud saw his mother and his youngest brother, Little Hawk, lying under part of a large pine. The tree had been ripped in half by the blast of lightning that had come with the thunder. Yellow Hawk was knocked unconscious and his mother was having difficulty getting up because her ankle had been hit by the falling tree. "You must find shelter," his mother said to Red Cloud as she cradled Yellow Hawk in her arms. Red Cloud did not know where to go. He ran to the top of the next rise searching for anything that might give them some protection from the on coming storm. When he started down the other side he thought he heard a whistling in the wind. It was a strange eerie sound, unlike anything he had ever heard before, yet he was more afraid of the storm than of the sound. Red Cloud followed the eerie sound and within a short distance he came upon a hole in the rocks not much bigger around than a man's waist. The air blowing out of the hole was making the strange sound. Without even thinking, he lowered himself, feet first, into the hole, and found that he was in a large cavern that a man could stand up in. The cavern seemed to go deeper into the earth and there was more than enough room for several people. Here was the protection that he sought. Perhaps the spirits had brought him here. He went back to his mother and his two brothers and found Yellow Hawk awake and crying. "Mother can you walk?" he asked. "I'll try," she said, "Here you carry Yellow Hawk." It was not far to the cave but by the time they got there little stones of ice were dropping from the sky. Mother lowered herself into the cave and Red Cloud handed her Yellow Hawk. By the time Runs Fast, lowered himself into the hole, the ice from the sky began bouncing off the rocks and the ground. The hail stung Red Cloud's neck and head as he lowered himself through the small opening. They had no wood to make a fire and they could only see close to the opening that continued to whistle in defiance into the raging storm. The storm was over almost as quickly as it had begun. Only soft rain fell as the dark clouds sailed on. The lightning grew ever dimmer as the sound of the thunder receded into the distance. Red Cloud's mother had come to the opening and allowed her buffalo hair cloth to absorb the moisture. With it she cleaned the wound on Yellow Hawk's head. When the rain stopped they all crawled out of the cave and Red Cloud's mother told him to gather some wood for a fire. The land was all white from the hail that was piled upon earth. Red Cloud's mother gathered some and put it on Yellow Hawk's wound and some around her ankle. They quenched their thirst from the water that the storm had left in all the depressions of the rocks. Before Red Cloud had gathered all the firewood, the storm had completely vanished. In its final moments before descending behind the mountains the sun spread its warmth upon the land. The small family was warmed by their fire in the cave and they had plenty of water and enough buffalo jerky to fill their bellies, but the jerky was almost gone. The next day they would know hunger if no more food was found. Red Cloud's mother had told him that the next day he must find food because her ankle would not allow her to travel for many days. That night before he fell asleep Red Cloud thought about how he did not want to go, yet he knew it would do no good to pout or to cry or to say he could not do it. His father wasn't there, his mother could not walk, and his little brothers were but young children. It was up to him. There was no one else. The next morning, when he woke up, his doubts were there stronger than ever. He was sure that he was not capable of shooting a deer or a turkey and the Black Mountains were not a place for even the bravest of men to be alone, and Red Cloud was but a boy. Yet he went. And now he found himself sitting beside a deer trail alone and with no one to help him do what he must do. How he wished that he had practiced sitting still, and practiced building fires and shooting his bow more often. And he regretted not having played the sneaking up game with the other boys just because he was not good at doing these things. His size and strength seemed to make him clumsy and he could never seem to walk quietly. And sitting still without moving a muscle was really hard and he had wanted no part of it. Now he was beginning to see that it was not just learning by doing things, it was learning to be in control of himself, and making himself do what he didn't want to do that was important. He could see that being able to choose the difficult path separated the men from the boys, the leaders from the followers, and the man who is at peace with himself from the one who does not like himself. Now he needed all those skills. Most of all he needed the will power to be in control of his body and his mind. Red Cloud was cold, tired and afraid. He was sure the he couldn't do what he had to do. His body didn't want to do it and he was sure it couldn't be done. Yet Red Cloud's spirit knew that he must find and kill a deer. He not only had to kill the deer, he had to gut it, skin it, and bring the life giving meat to his family. And he was but a boy who had never done these things. After being with his thoughts beside the deer trail for several hours and seeing no deer, he got to his feet and began moving through the timber. As he tried to move silently with the wind in his face he remembered his father's words, "Your eyes are your greatest gift, only your eyes are better than the deer's. You must see him before he hears, smells or sees you. The only way for that to happen is for you to be looking more than you are moving." Red Cloud hunted all day long trying as best he could to move as his father had told him and he saw many deer, but always they saw him first. He also saw many turkeys but always he sought the deer. Red Cloud thought to himself that it would be easy to get a turkey after they had roosted in the trees for the night. But now the sun was slowly sinking beneath the tops of the trees and there were no turkeys to be found. He was very far from the protection of the cave and he still had no food for his family. He must not return without food, so he would spend the night under the stars and pray that the spirits would not mind his presence. With much trouble and many failures he finally was able to start a fire and he sat down next to it and ate the few berries that he had gathered. He also ate the roots of a yucca plant that he had dug up and then he lay down in the grass beneath a large pine. As the stars began their journey across the sky, he fell into a deep sleep. When he was aroused in the middle of the night by the calls of the coyotes he opened his eyes and looked around. Just off to his left he saw a coyote not 20 steps from where he lay. He just smiled at his wily brother, and drifted back to sleep. When he awoke again the stars were still overhead and he lay there and remembered the last time he had talked to his grandfather. It had been the time when he had gone to the clearing, away from the village, to practice building a fire. A great horned owl and a rabbit had watched him without him even knowing they were there. From a lofty height in a withered old pine the great horned owl had cranked his head and cocked it downward as it peered at the young boy in the clearing below. The small rabbit too, was watching this strange intruder as he sat back on his hind legs at the edge of the clearing and felt the first rays of the sun warm his furry coat. The breeze blew briskly and the grass swayed under it's breath as Red Cloud squatted there trying to block its path with his back. So intent was he in trying to ignite the mossy grass with the sparks he had created, that he did not notice the two onlookers or even feel the warmth of the sun's first rays. When the moss only smoldered and the last of the red embers were snuffed out by the wind, Red Cloud hung his head and thought to himself, "I can't do this. I am no good at building fires and I don't want to be here." He knew he was not a good fire builder, so he hated doing it, but his father had made him come to this meadow and had told him to build a fire and wait. Wait for what? Why did he have to do this? He was a little mad, a lot frustrated and most of all he thought of himself as worthless. He slowly rose to his feet and stood there with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. The rabbit had scurried away when the boy rose to his feet and the owl spread its wings and glided from its perch as a second figure came into the clearing. When the old man put his hand on the shoulder of the boy, Red Cloud jumped and was startled out of his gloomy thoughts. "Grandfather, you scared me. I did not even hear you coming." "You are not supposed to hear me coming, but you should have noticed your brothers watching you." "My brothers? Were they here?" he asked. "Your brother the rabbit was there in the grass enjoying his breakfast and an owl was watching you from the top of that pine, but you didn't even notice them because you were feeling so badly." "How did you know that I was feeling so badly?" "One does not stand with slumped shoulders and bowed head when he is full of joy. Come sit with me a while and we will talk." The boy and the grandfather walked over to the base of the tall pine and both sat silently in the grass for a long while. Finally Grandfather spoke. "It is a good journey, this journey of life that you are on, but it is not always easy. There are many paths that can be taken on this journey. Some of these paths you will be forced to take and some you will be allowed to choose." "You must learn to choose some paths that are difficult. "Each of us is born with certain gifts and those gifts make some paths in life easy and some hard. You are big for your age and you have been given the gift of strength. For you wrestling and throwing a spear are easy and because of these gifts you are very good at doing both. You hardly ever loose a wrestling match and you can throw a spear farther than boys much older than you. Perhaps because you are so good at these things, you do not like doing things that you are not good at. "I, too, as a young boy, was very good at many things and I, too, hated doing what I was not good at". "When I was shown how to shoot a bow, I never seemed to be able to do it right and I always seemed to miss the target." "But grandfather," Red Cloud interrupted, "You are so good at it now that you even shoot better than my father or any of your other sons." "Yes, but it was not always so and it was not easy for me. I thought I would never learn and in the beginning I avoided doing the difficult things unless I was forced to. It was not until my spirit decided it was time to be a man that I was able to make myself take the difficult paths. "When it happened, I was still but a boy and my father had sent me out with my uncle to get a large cottonwood log. "As you know a cottonwood is very difficult to cut and even though I was chopping as hard as I could, my stone ax seemed to be getting nowhere. Each time my uncle hit the tree on the other side, a small chunk of wood went flying. When I barely had the bark off my side and my uncle was almost half way through, someone from the village brought word that my uncle was needed there right away. He told me to finish cutting the tree and then to come back to the village and someone would return and help me drag it home. I knew the cottonwood log had to be in the village that night so it could be used for the special council fire. "Now I was alone and it was up to me, but each time I struck the tree it seemed my ax just bounced off. I was getting nowhere. Then I got angry and I struck it harder and harder but in my anger I was not striking it in the right spot. Still the tree stood. My arms hurt and my forehead had beads of sweat upon it, and still the tree stood. I can not do this, I thought. It is too hard. I am not strong enough; I am no good at chopping. I am no good at anything.' I began to have tears in my eyes. Then I thought of my father and of the people who were depending on him and how he had depended on me. Then I thought, if anyone can do this, I can do it. I am not a child. I am closer to a man than a child and I can do this. Once again I began to strike the tree that still stood, only this time my ax hit the right spot, and this time a small piece of wood came out. Often I missed the spot but I just struck the tree again until a small portion of wood was knocked away. I worked until not only my arms ached but until my hands and shoulders and back begged me to stop, and still the tree stood. I kept telling myself if anyone can do this, I can do it. I may not do it as well or as quickly and I may look funny and do it poorly, but I can do it. My tears did not return. My inner self controlled my body and my mind and I worked on. As the day wore on I rested but I would not allow bad thoughts to take root. Whenever they tried, I just started chopping again. When the tree lay on the ground and I walked back to the village, I was no longer the boy who had left. I had come back a man and from that day on I have no longer avoided the difficult path. On many occasions I have chosen it. I know that on the difficult path that I often times look and feel clumsy and that it is never easy but I also know that in taking these paths that I am learning things that I would never learn on the easy path. All this Red Cloud remembered as the stars finished their journey across the sky and the morning star appeared. He felt more confident as he rose to his feet and ate the last of his jerky. He, like his grandfather, would travel this difficult path and he would do what he had to do. In his wanderings of the day before he had read the signs as his father had taught him. He could see that the deer went where ever they pleased in search of food and water and that because there was water in all the depressions of the rocks and there was grass and browse every where, the deer could be any where. But he remembered that he had come to a small canyon at the top of which was a long rock wall. The bottom of the canyon was very steep, and although a frightened deer would think nothing of running down the canyon or even up and down its steep slopes, a deer, not pushed, would go around it. The rock wall continued for much farther than a man could shoot a bow and a deer would find it difficult to climb. About half way to the end of the wall there was a passage through it and the earth showed a well worn trail that was used by all that did not want to walk around it. On top of the rock wall there was an area of flat rock and a man could walk there without making a sound. The breeze was out of the south and was blowing softly up the mountain but he knew that would change when the sun rose. His father had often told him that the morning air slowly descended down the slopes of the mountains as it was warmed by the sun. Red Cloud knew what he would do. Before the first sign of light even hinted its presence, he started walking toward the wall. He walked briskly at first to get his blood flowing and to warm his body. As he drew nearer to the wall and his body was warmed, he stopped to smell the air. He glanced at the small string of fur tied at the end of his bow and noticed the direction that it moved in the early morning breeze. He looked in every direction, but he moved his head so slowly that the movement could hardly be seen. When Red Cloud took his next step he carefully felt the ground beneath his foot and kept his weight on his back foot until he was sure that the foot moving ahead had nothing under it. The ball of his foot touched the ground first and only after his heel was slowly dropped to the ground was his weight shifted from his back foot to his front. If a sound was made by his movement he stopped for a long while and slowly looked in all directions before he moved again. Red Cloud stood still more than he moved but he was in no hurry for he knew that the scents of the land would be drifting downward until the sun had time to warm the air in the low spots. When he reached the rock wall the sun was well above the earth and the breeze had picked up from the south. Now he could move more quickly upon the flat rocks on the ground above the wall, but still he stood more than he moved. Finally Red Cloud reached a spot in the center of the wall where the earth sloped from top to bottom. Here on the ground before him was a well worn trail where all who had passed this way walked in the same track. The trail saved walking around the steep canyon or around the rock wall and it had seen much use. Red Cloud knew that he might have to wait the entire day for a deer to pass, so he looked for something to sit on. He knew that if he was to sit still for a long time, he must be comfortable. He found a flat rock that was only 20 steps off the trail and it was behind a large tree. From this spot Red Cloud could see over the cliff and see anything coming along the trail. When what ever was approaching got just below the cliff it would be out of sight for a moment and he could safely get to his feet and step behind the tree in front of him. As he sat with the breeze in his face, Red Cloud thought of how his mother and his two brothers must be worried and hungry. He thought about his father and he thought about the story that his grandfather had told him. He thought about not moving and of constantly watching and even trying to smell any changes brought to him on the breeze. He thought, too, of how he had always hated doing what he could not do well and then he thought about his grandfather's story and he laughed at himself when his thoughts began to think that he just couldn't do this. Red Cloud was beginning to get sleepy when a chickadee landed on the grass right beside his moccasin. It hopped over closer and pecked his skin just above his ankle. Red Cloud twitched his foot but instead of flying away the chickadee jumped on his leg and just stood there. Then Red Cloud saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and he moved his head so slowly that it seemed to take forever. The chickadee never even noticed. Red Cloud was now looking at a magnificent buck that had five points on each side and antlers well outside of his large ears. The deer was walking slowly towards the trail that came up through the rock wall. Suddenly the chickadee flew away and the deer, noticing the movement, stopped and stared right at Red Cloud. Not a muscle moved on the deer and Red Cloud's heart raced inside his breast so loudly that he was afraid the deer would hear. If Red Cloud had heard a sound in the woods and had frozen to wait and see what had made it, he would not have waited so long. If he had thought he had seen movement and waited to see what it might be, he would have not waited so long. If he had paused while moving silently through the land, he would not have waited so long. Yet here he could see the buck staring at him. It was not a sound, it was not a movement, and it was not some deer that may move and show himself while he waited. It was a large buck and it was staring right at him. If the buck had not been in such plain view Red Cloud would have thought he was imagining things, but there it was standing motionless and looking right at him. Then the buck's tail twitched and it seemed to chew something in its mouth. It flicked an ear and looked away. In an instant its head snapped back in Red Cloud's direction and again it stared at him. But this time for just a brief moment and then it started walking once again. The last thing Red Cloud saw as the deer disappeared below the cliff was the twitch of its tail Red Cloud could feel his whole body tremble as he rose to his feet. He brought his bow into a ready position and he waited. Now he could see the top of the buck's antlers and then its head. When the deer's entire body was above the rock wall his head disappeared behind two pine trees and Red Cloud drew his bow. In an instant the deer's head was in front of the trees that had hidden it and then its chest came into view. The deer was looking at the trail in front of him and Red Cloud was off to the side, so the buck did not see the arrow fly from the bow. Although the deer heard a slight noise, he froze rather than jumped. The arrow found its mark. Red Cloud had shot his first deer. He knew not to follow when the deer bounded away, he just lay down in the grass and felt the warmth of the sun. It seemed to him that he even slept a little, and when he was sure enough time had passed, he walked over to the trail and saw the blood there on the ground. The deer had whirled around and run back down through the opening in the rock wall and then headed for the steep canyon below. It never made it. When Red Cloud followed the spots of blood and saw the deer there before him, he dropped his bow, threw his arms wide apart to the heavens and starting singing a song of triumph. He sang at the top of his lungs for all of the earth to hear, and he felt more joy than he had ever known. Then he spread his arms once more and faced each of the four directions and thanked the Great Spirit for the gift of the deer. He thanked all of the grandfathers for the knowledge they had passed on to him and he thanked the spirit of the deer for its gift of life. He only laughed at himself when for a brief moment he thought that he couldn't gut this deer because he didn't even know how. He just did it. He didn't do it right and he made a mess and it took him, what seemed like forever, but he did it, and that was all that mattered. When Red Cloud had cut a hind quarter off and had hung the rest of the deer high up in a tree, he started back to the cave. When darkness overtook him and the clouds hid the stars it did not matter. Before the last light of the day receded into darkness, he climbed a tree and saw on the horizon the three large buttes that he knew lay south of the cave. When he climbed down again he picked out a large tree that was in line with buttes and knew that was the direction he must go. Before he got to the tree, he picked out another landmark that lined up with the tree and the direction that he was going. He continued doing this until he came to the country that he knew was near the cave. Then Red Cloud heard the sprits calling him from the cave's mouth and when he was closer still, he saw the light given off by the fire within. Red Cloud's mother was happy to see him. His mother and brothers were very hungry and they all feasted on the meat he brought. In the morning, with bellies full and bodies rested, all within the cave were still asleep when their father's voice broke the stillness. It had been five days since their father had led the enemy away and in those five days something had changed. When his father cut poles to make a travois to bring back Red Cloud's mother, Red Cloud was there helping without being asked. When Red Cloud had shown his father where his buck was hung and had told him the story of his first real hunt, his father once again noticed the change. When his mother was placed on the travois and the family began their journey out of the Black Mountains, Red Cloud's father was sure of the change. As they walked along together, the spirits watched them go. A mother; two boys; and two men.